According to
gitari , chair and associate professor of psychology in the Department of Sociology, Anthropology, Psychology and Egyptology at AUC, Robert Sternberg’s psychological theory covers the most common reasons why we fall in love, namely: intimacy, passion and commitment.

Intimacy

Falling in love for intimate reasons can be described as having a basic friendship; it lacks commitment and passion. Henry explained that intimacy isn’t just about developing a close bond with someone. Sometimes it is self-serving. Everyone needs to feel loved, cared for, and respected. Women desire to feel their femininity and men desire to feel their masculinity.

The song Hello by Adele is a great example of intimacy. In the song’s chorus, Adele contacts her ex-boyfriend and pours out her heartbreak from the relationship. She admits that it has been many years since she last saw her ex-boyfriend and that she has not done any healing. "Her lyrics are magical and speak for a lot of people who want to have an emotional connection with anyone or a short-term relationship," he said.

Passion

Letting ourselves fall in love because of desire or strong feelings for a person is normal. Passionate love is developed as a result of feelings that lead to sexual attraction, physical interest and romance. Henry stated, "When someone you like is attracted to you by something that draws them to that person." "The attraction is physical, and there is a fascination with the hair, eyes and body."

Infatuation develops when there is no intimacy or commitment. People feel attracted and soon develop lust. Some people view a person as an object and become obsessed. He said, "You can be in love with someone for years but not feel that there is any commonality between you two."

Commitment

Commitment is complete love. "People who seek commitment want stability and a healthy relationship," he said. "People who seek only commitment can be unable to find basic friendship and sexual attraction.

Henry stated that today’s young adults are more concerned about objects than they are about relationships. He explained that objectification is a result of consumerism. "The more consumerism a culture becomes the more people lose interest and commitments. Some youth are more interested than others in pleasing people they don’t care for. So everything needs to be consumed, even relationships with people."

Love Outside of the Triangular Theory

Although it’s common that anyone can relate to Sternberg’s love theory, we all have our personal reasons for falling in love. Science doesn’t have to explain why you fall in love. Henry explained that certain personal needs may include fear of being alone, social pressure, satisfaction, or religious beliefs.

No matter what psychology says about love, our choice of type of love defines who we are. We have our own way of understanding what makes us happy and fulfills our human needs. "Some people find themselves with a need for each dimension of the triangle. However, they can’t give up one of their needs because of the many. Love is very complex."